A fresh perspective on managing chronic illness

Don’t go it alone

By Kaitlyn Ross

Living with Crohn’s disease can feel like... well, so many emotions aside from the physical symptoms we feel. We can feel isolated, sad, depressed, like a burden, or the friend who tends to say “no” when all we want is to be able to say yes. Yes to being included, to going on adventures, to living life.

Except for when we get hit with a flare and we slowly start to sink deeper and deeper into the illness. For me, these past six plus months I have completely lost my appetite and along with it a lot of weight. I also lost a lot of myself along with it.

My husband, my kids, my friends, and family have seen me slowly wither away and I have really lost my quality of life.

When we are faced with chronic illness for the rest of our lives sometimes we try to take it all upon ourselves. We don’t want to burden our friends and families with our needs. We also tend to want to fight the illness on our own.

I have always tried to keep living my life and not let my Crohn’s Disease keep me down. I am proud to say that I finished my undergrad degree while going through my diagnosis and trying all the meds. I found my husband who has been by my side through it all. I have two amazing children (although I long for more).

But that doesn’t mean there hasn't been dark and challenging times. Times where no one knew just how much I was struggling. Even as my age gets older, as do my experiences, it can be so easy to fall into the trap of trying to do it all on our own. The physical appointments, procedures, tests, etc. but also the emotional toll it takes on us.

I had to learn this again, the hard way, these past six months. Trying to do it on my own but then also hoping people close to me would know how to support me. The thing is, they won’t unless you communicate it to them. Then sometimes we get faced with the harsh reality that they may not be able to be there for you as you thought they would.

A different kind of strong

If you’re faced with a chronic illness, reach out to those closest to you and find your emotional support person(s) and accept help when they may offer. Accepting help doesn’t make you “weak” but helps you to be strong and fierce. Maybe they can help to drive you to appointments, help with kids, pick up meal replacements for you, be there to cry to, whatever it may be that you need.

You won’t have many of these angels and that’s ok. You don’t need many but you need a real one or two. It will help you build up your mental health strength so that your body can find its physical strength to keep fighting the battle we fight everyday.

Don’t go at it alone. You are not alone.

Kaitlyn Ross loves living in Nova Scotia, being surrounded by the ocean and raising a family in the country. Adventures with her husband and two sons are her favourite ways to spend her days. She grew up in Pictou County, Nova Scotia and attended Saint Mary’s University. She was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2008 after a life wondering why she felt so sick all the time.

Follow along on her journey on tik tok, Facebook and Instagram @kaitlyngetsstrong