When plans go wrong but it works out all right

Thier maturity is showing - our kids aren’t always acting so “little” anymore and….it’s nice. #familytime #familyfun #lifelessons photo: Darren Calabrese

Our evening went awry but also surprisingly right

We tried to go for a family bike ride last night after dinner. It took us some time to get out the door, as usual (hello life with a five and seven-year-old - like herding cats, even when fun awaits). It was starting to get later then I intended heading out, but I didn’t dare take this plan back. it was not worth the battle. And it was such a nice night. I told myself to lighten up and let it go.

We hopped on our bikes and immediately I knew there was something wrong with my chain.

It wasn’t catching. I couldn’t change gears. The pedals were just spinning. I know nothing about the mechanics of a bike, nor does my husband really. He tinkered around with it for a good 10 or 15 minutes. The girls rode circles in the driveway while they waited, surprisingly patiently. I laid in the grass, not so patiently.

Finally, success! He got the gears in the right setting. The chain was in the right place. We were ready to ride.

At the end of our street we make the girls get off their bikes and walk the sidewalk along a very busy four-lane road with severe speeding traffic issues. Once we get to the next side street that leads to the trail where we bike, they can start riding again. Not 10 yards along the street do I hear my daughter shout, “Mom! Your tire!” I stop, and then I hear the hiss.

All of the air is leaking out of the tire, and fast. It’s completely flat in seconds. That’s the end of the ride for me. I told the girls they can go on for a ride with Dad. I’d walk home without them. To my surprise, there are some groans. They wanted to all go together. But no really, I assure them. Go ahead.

Honestly, I was excited for the family time. And the bike ride. But I also knew there was a reclining deck chair waiting for me in the backyard. Cold drinks in the fridge. Some bonus quiet time. There are worse things.

But as Matt pulls up next to me, his hand brake snaps off. Out of the blue. What was happening?! It’s now officially the end of the ride. We were NOT meant to take this bike ride. I honestly believe it was for a reason. One I’ll never know, and frankly am happy not to find out.

But the most surprising part of it all is that the kids accepted the outcome without complaint.

Without moaning, whining, or tears. In fact, Anna, the oldest, declared “let’s get out of here before something else happens and we are a bikeless family for the rest of the summer!”. We turned back and slowly rolled our bikes home on foot.

It’s only now, the next morning, as I’m reflecting on this that i realize it was a bit of a seminal moment. I think we may be starting to turn a corner - the girls are growing up. Their maturity is showing. They handled what was thrown at them - something that could have been a big deal in their little world. They understood it was out of our control. They accepted the change of plans. Without fuss.

Parents, you know it - it was kind of a big deal. And now that I think about it, it was so REFRESHING. And now that I think about it, there are tiny glimpses of this happening more and more. Agreeing on a movie quickly. Settling for the colour freezie they are handed. Accepting the ice cream flavours available. These are tiny things but they add up. Gone are the constant less-than-pleasant little kiddie attitudes and break downs when something doesn’t go their way.

We came home and the youngest made us stay outside. She went into the house and shortly returned with ice cream she’d dished out for everyone. Maybe we were swooped into some weird twilight zone, it’s possible.

I’m not daft, I know it doesn’t mean it’s going to be sunshine and roses from here on out. But maybe it’s a glimpse of a period of ease. Or at least easIER. Are they learning to be able to process situations and outcomes that might not be what they anticipated?

Are they demonstrating patience?!

I sure hope so. And you know what? It’s a lesson most adults could use to be reminded of these days too.

I’m sure this is a sweet spot before the onset of pre-teen years but I’m grabbing on and I’m going to enjoy it. It makes sense. They aren’t acting so little anymore. Because they aren’t. My baby will be finished primary and grade one is serious big kid. Don’t talk to me about grade three. I remember grade three… I digress.

So our evening went wrong but it also went oh so right. In a different—and even more important way. So here’s to some harmony and peace. Here’s to learning from our kids. Here’s to a more agreeable summer—with patience and understanding and hopefully, more bike rides.

Heather Fegan is a freelance journalist, content creator, and blogger in Halifax, Nova Scotia. She loves exploring the great outdoors with her family and chronicling their adventures at home, afar, and everywhere in between. Because there’s always s story. Heather is also the founder and editor of INSPIRE ME Magazine.